I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
