Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
