Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
This is not my ceiling
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
