is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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