I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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