ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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