Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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