the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
