I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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