let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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