I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
