Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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