you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
