If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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