Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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