What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
