She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
