I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
