I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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