i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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