It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
