I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
