Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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