the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he was CRYING into my vagina
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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