this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
