I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
