She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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