think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
