You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
