just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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