I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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