I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
