i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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