You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's shark week go big or go home
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
