I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
