I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She's the barista slut.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
