I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
