I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
