He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
