i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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