1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
