I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
