Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
