I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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