Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
