if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
