great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
