when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
