That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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