I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
